


Just a tiny Problem

by Rochesa



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bittybones (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Swapfell (Undertale), Angst and Fluff and Smut, Author is a dork and multi tasks too much, Ecto-Penis (Undertale), Ecto-Tongue (Undertale), Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, God save me?, I have like 7 Undertale fanfics to work on now, Reader works at home sometimes but volunteers with best friend, Sans and Papyrus are blunt with Reader, Save Author-chan 2018, Strong bitty boys, Video games are fun, alcohol use, building relationships, lots of fluff, reader is a nerd, sensitive topics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-23 01:55:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16609667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rochesa/pseuds/Rochesa
Summary: These little guys are too cute and I fell in love with the bitty bones au god help me.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> These little guys are too cute and I fell in love with the bitty bones au god help me.

You'd just moved into your new apartment and splurged on decorating it. This town was a lot more lenient on the laws of the very real and very new monsters on the surface.

Even though they weren't really a big deal.

Figuratively and literally.

They had come up from the mountain and they were just as jarred as the rest of us because apparently, they used to be bigger. You didn't mind it much, but what irked you was how they were treated. They were immediately taken and put up for adoption in animal shelters, being separated from their families and friends.

Your heart ached for the poor things, and you vowed that if you were found one of them astray, you'd take them in and treat them like people.

Your little roomy apartment had all you could imagine. A new sofa that rested right in front of the TV, your gaming console planted on the movie stand. Your curtains were a beautiful shade of purple and blue, the gradients giving off a royal vibe. The walls were painted a gentle lilac and the carpet was a deep violet to match the curtains.

Your friend had told you it looks way too jarring but it was your own apartment! Finally! Something you could have for yourself. Your room was much like the living room, except you had a desk off in the corner and your canopy bed had small decorations having from the top rim. You shuffled about the place on this early morning, checking the calendar.

Saturday. Your off day.

You cheered to yourself and darted into the bathroom, showering and throwing on your onesie pajamas, striking a goofy pose in the wall mirror hanging on the back of the bathroom door. Your covered feet were soundness against the carpet as you stalked to the kitchen, looking forward to the cup of coffee you'd be violating soon enough.

Just as you entered the kitchen, you caught a bit of movement out of the corner of eye.

....?

You brushed it off as you still getting adjusted to being awake and stepped into the kitchen to make coffee and lounge all day. Maybe pizza could be breakfast.. You chuckled at the thought and began making your coffee, taking out the whipped cream from your fridge with an excited squeal. And there it was again. Movement out of your line of sight. You squint, whipping around to see if you could catch it.

...

Nope.

You scoffed and quickly cursed under your breath grumbling and folding your arms while you waited for the coffee maker to sound off. When it did, you leapt at it, grabbing your favorite mug and pouring yourself the coffee along with what people would say is too much creamer. Topping it off with whipped cream and you had your favorite beverage.

As you walked over to the couch, your leg knocked into something, which startled you, making you damn near drop your mug. You yelped and looked down to see if you could find what you knocked over, but all that was there was a throw pillow from the couch. You grimaced and looked around again.

"OK SO IF SOMETHING IS HERE, TELL ME NOW!"

You grumbled, a bit too tired be as livid or scared as you wanted. You were more grouchy than anything.

Just then, from behind the wall where the island of the kitchen was, a little-slippered foot came from behind it

Then a tiny arm in what you could assume was a dark purple jacket, nearly black. Out stepped...

A tiny skeleton.

**Oh be still your beating heart.**

It was a bitty monster! Mom mode engage! You set your mug down as calmly as you could, looking at him curiously.

"Hello, there little guy. Did you need something?"

He looked confused for a moment, tilting his head at you in a confused manner. The fur lining his very tiny hood swayed with his movements, which almost made you "awwww" out loud.

He cleared his throat before he spoke.

"hey sugar, sorry for intruding but. me and my bro arent exactly supposed to be free right now."

He chuckled and slumped against the wall of the island, watching you with small purple pupils.

"just dont tell anyone about us alright?"

You walked over to him, crouching down to meet his face.

"What do you mean?"

A little too quickly, he grabbed a hold of your nose, honking it playfully.

"HEY!"

You jerked back, looking down at him. He was chuckling like a madman, his little shoulders bouncing with each inhale he took.

"Well can you give me a little...insight on why you guys aren't supposed to be out?"

He stopped laughing long enough to look at you, snickering a tad more before he stopped.

"were strays sweetheart."

**DING DING DING!**

"Well! Guess this is your new home!"

He immediately shifted his mood, grabbing a hold of one of your locks of hair and yanking it firmly. You yelped and grabbed his little hand, as delicately as you could.

"Whoa! What the hell are you doing!?"

"ohoho if you think youre just gonna claim us like that i dont think were gonna stick around."

"Whoa no! I'm not claiming you guys, I'm giving you the option to stay here!"

He growled at you, letting go of your hair with a soft "hmph". He tapped his chin in thought before he glared at you.

"ill ask my bro then.."

You perked up.

"Well..where is he?"

As if on cue, he whistled, rather loudly for someone of his stature. Soft little pitter patters on the tile floors of the kitchen got progressively louder before another little skeleton came tumbling around the corner. This one was smaller and rounder, a dark purple bandana around his neck. He was wearing little black books with a set of matching jeans. His shoulder plates were adorned with silver spikes and a deep purple trim, along with the chest plate. The tips of his boots were adorned in a silver toe-tip and a few little spikes around the edges.

His little berry colored pupils focused on you rather angrily, and with a huff, he crossed his arms.

"SO YOU FINALLY FOUND US? TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!"

His voice was demanding but the pitch only made it harder for you to take him seriously. The taller one pulled him aside to presumably talk to him. They whispered to one another, stealing a glance at you every few seconds. Finally, the shorter one stood and marched up to you.

"HUMAN! I USUALLY DO NOT TAKE CHARITY BUT! BECAUSE OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES. I WILL ACCEPT YOUR DASTARDLY OFFER."

The taller one seemed content, shrugging and stuffing his hands back into his pockets.

"Well...make yourselves at home! I uh... Is there anything you guys need? Food? New clothes?"

They both perked up at the mention of food, which got your attention real quick. You stood up, but not before offering for them to climb into your hands. The shorter one reluctantly hopped on, while the taller one flopped into your palm, nuzzling into the warm spot.

"mmm soft.."

He grumbled and if you didn't know any better, he fell asleep. You set them both on the counter and turned to your fridge, looking through it. You cooked pasta last night, so you figured you could offer them that.

"Is chicken alfredo ok?"

They both perked up, the taller one sniffling before he rubbed his ey- sockets and blinked at you.

"sounds good to me, right bro?"

"YOU KNOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CALL ME M'LORD!"

"yes m'lord. my mistake."

You raised a brow at this, brushing it off rather quickly before taking out the container of pasta. You placed a bit of it onto a plate for the both of them, breaking up the broccoli and chicken in the dish before popping it into the microwave. You turned back to meet them, leaning on the counter. The shorter one immediately marched up to your folded arms, stomping as he looked at you.

"STATE YOUR NAME HUMAN WENCH!"

You scoffed, gently poking a finger to his chest.

"Watch your tone! I'm not a wench and my name is (Y/N)."

He seemed offended at how you corrected him, his cheeks dusting a deep purple when your finger made contact with his chest. His little body shook with anger before he crossed his arms again and swiveled to face his brother.

"MUTT, REPRIMAND HER!"

You raised a brow again, but as you went to protest, the microwave went off. Your chair shook as you hopped up and got the plate from the microwave, grabbing 2 plastic forks from your drawer.

As you turned to set the plate on the counter, something hit you right in your forehead. It didn't hurt but it caught you off guard, the object bouncing away on and onto the floor.

"Hey!"

You squeaked. You looked at the thing that hit and it was..a tiny bone. You snickered and set the food down, breaking off the end of each fork and handing it to them both. The shorter one grabbed the utensil sharply, digging in right away. The taller one sat cross-legged in front of the plate, grabbing his makeshift fork and eating as well.

As you observed them, you realized the shorter one had rounder but fatter teeth. His incisors were sharp and made a soft clicking noise each time he shut his mouth. The taller one had sharp teeth all around apparently. And a gold tooth! You finally spoke up after they had eaten most of the food.

"What's your names?"

The short one piped up first, slamming his fork down and standing.

"I AM THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE SANS!"

"names papyrus."

You smiled at them both.

"Well. You guys are welcome to uh. Look around and stuff, one rule though, don't break anything."

"FINE! BUT I WILL CLAIM THIS PLACE AS MY OWN!"

Sans quickly hopped down from the island, which scared you a little more than it should have because you caught him before he hit the floor and set him down gently. He gasped when you caught him, looking up at you with a scowl.

"D-Don't want you hurt ok?"

He flinched at your words, his cheekbones flourishing with color all of a sudden. It was the same shade as his pupils...eye lights? You noticed there was a faint glow around the edges of the lights in his sockets, so you'd stick with that. Papyrus made it to the floor rather soundly, marching off and back onto the dark carpet. Sans scurried off after his brother, with a soft "MWEH HEH" from what you could hear.

You went back to go take a sip of your coffee, mulling over the newfound knowledge you had.

Welp. This couldn't be that bad, could it?

The evening came rolling around and you learned a few things about your tiny house guests.

For starters, Sans had a temper. A bad one at that. He went rustling through your room and pulling out your clothes with criticism lining his tongue. You had told him not to and at one point, he took one of your necklaces and tried to claim it as his own. You told him it wasn't and he promptly threw a fit, earning a hearty laugh from you.

Another thing you learned was how Papyrus slept everywhere and anywhere. You nearly stepped on him coming out of your room because he flopped onto the carpet without a second thought. Beds were of utmost priority.

Third on the list of facts was that Sans was loud. While Papyrus was quiet and often mumbled or didn't finish his sentences. Last thing you learned was that despite their size, their magic was powerful. Mutt had dropped his mini pocket watch under your couch and promptly LIFTED THE ENTIRE THING TO GRAB IT. It threw you for a loop exponentially, considering that you were occupying the couch when he did it.

After your little observant time, you called them both into the living room.

"you wanna do what?"

"Get your measurements and heights. So I can shop for you guys. Or rather make clothes."

"ABSOLUTELY NOT I WILL NOT COMPL-"

"sure go for it."

Papyrus promptly took off his hoodie and set it down on the coffee table, standing up with his hands in his sweatpants pockets. This confirmed that yep, they were skeletons. His arms were adorned with tiny scratches and nicks, his spine having been discolored from the rest of his otherwise white bones. He was wearing a black tank top under the jacket, showing off part of his ribcage and shoulder blades. Sans grumbled angrily, folding his arms over his chest.

You grabbed your ruler and held it up next to Papyrus, watching as he leaned on it, giving a faint chuckle.

"Stand up straight lazybones!"

"tibia honest i dont think i wanna."

You coughed at the joke, snickering to yourself while Sans let out a shrill "MWEH" in distress.

"10.5 inches tall big guy."

"really? thought i was a bit smaller. guess not."

"Your turn Sans."

He crossed his arms and fell flat onto the table, not facing you.

"Grumpypants can I please get your height?"

"NO, YOU MAY CERTAINLY NOT!"

You sighed. Time to do this the hard way. You grabbed the back of his bandana, swinging him around to face you. He yelped and thrashed for a moment before he got a hold on your finger and promptly clamped his little fangs down on it. You would have been phased if it weren't for the fact that you had been bitten by animals almost all your life.

"Sorry little guy but that doesn't hurt."

You grimaced at the fact that he drew blood though. He seemed to stop when the substance went into his mouth. You winced and watched as he relaxed, gently gnawing on your finger...

Well. If it gets him to calm down. You measured him as best you could, watching his lax expression.

"Alright. 6.3 inches." You concluded. You gently pried him off your hand, watching as he sputtered and growled.

"I DEMAND YOU GIVE ME YOUR HAND!"

"Not until you behave. Now off you little bloodsucker."

He growled again, folding his arms and falling on his butt, or lack of butt with an angry "hmph". Papyrus had dozed off during the spectacle, using his jacket as a pillow. You tapped him lightly which only got him to sit up and lean on your hand.

"warm.."

You chuckled and looked to Sans.

"Any clothing preference?"

"anything and everything comfy..."

He mumbled as he snuggled your hand. Oh no too cute!

"GIVE ME ONLY THE FINEST CLOTHES FIT FOR SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME!"

He declared rather sternly. You smiled and pat his little cheek, watching in delight as he leaned into the touch.

Then chomped down on your finger again. You would have pulled away but, he decided now would be the time to give you the most gut-churning puppy dog eyes.

These two were gonna kill you. For sure.


	2. Measurements

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Great strong boys. A bit of nsfw? Not really but suggestive.

You decided to go and get ready to drop by the store for some fabrics to make their clothes, looking at your sewing machine in the back of your closet with a smile.

"Old friend we got some business to do!"

You grabbed it with a hefty "oomph!" and set it on your desk, plugging it in. Papyrus had taken up residence on your bed, sinking into one of your pillows with a heavy "aaaah" and falling asleep. Sans was currently eyeing you, obviously curious about the machine. You humored him and sat at the desk, taking out a binder from the bottom drawer and setting it next to him.

"Here I can keep all my measurements and patterns for making clothes."

He raised a very tiny brow bone at you.

"BUT WHAT IS THAT THING!?"

He pointed to the sewing machine.

"It helps me sew, so I don't have to do it by hand."

He marched up to it and took one of the pins out of the pin cushion. He tapped the end of it experimentally before he lunged for your hand, knicking your thumb. You recoiled, but he latched on, gnawing on your thumb as he did with your finger earlier.

"Wow, you really are a little bloodsucker. Now stop that, do it again and I'll have to punish you."

He grumbled and held steady, his bony tiny hands clinging to you. You huffed and turned to an empty page in your binder, looking at the little demon currently holding onto you.

"Since you're so eager, you can get sketched down first."

He perked up, which you expected as him going to be defiant. What you didn't expect was something slimy to run along the cut he had given you. You yelped and nearly flung him, but instead slouched in your seat, your toes curling. He opened his jaw and revealed a tiny, slimy, glowing purple tongue.

"You..."

You gawked and set him down, grabbing his little cheeks as softly as you could. You stuck your thumb just on the edge of his bottom "lip" keeping his mouth open. He growled at you, but you dismissed it while you watched the tongue coil up and run along the length of his teeth.

"That. Is freaky. But kind of entertaining.."

You let go of him, and with an angry yelp, he stomped his foot.

"DO NOT PUT YOUR GRUBBY FINGERS IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HUMAN!"

"Oh hush, now lie down for me you little vampire."

He stomped over to the paper and sat down, looking up at you with a grimace. You gently prodded his chest with your finger, hooking it under his chest plate.

"Gonna need this off."

He huffed.

"NO, I NEED MY ARMOR, YOU IDIOT."

You scoffed and grabbed his shoulder plates, slipping them off of him, with a bit of effort of course. He thrashed and yelled all the while. As you reached for his chest plate, he suddenly slapped your wrist, making your hand hit the table way harder than you thought it would.

"Hey! Stop being such a child about this!"

He stopped all his fighting, looking at you with wide eyes. He scowled at you, lifting his right hand, he summoned a tiny femur like bone, aiming it and tossing it right at your forehead. It made a soft "thunk" sound as made contact, falling to the desk.

Your chest heaved as you sighed and took the chest plate off of him, much to his distress.

"MUTT! MUTT GET THE HUMAN OFF OF ME!"

Papyrus suddenly appeared on the desk, watching with a little grin as his brother screamed at you.

"m'lord, she needs this so you can get new clothes."

"Exactly! He gets it."

He stopped his squirming and let you slide the armor off of him. He growled at you again, trying to nip your fingers but with no results. You pushed him down against the paper, pushing his little arms out flat against it. You grabbed your pencil and traced around his body as best you could, snickering all the while. He shot up and grabbed his armor, marching off angrily. You helped him off the desk before he could jump off, his little boots hitting the carpet hard as he marched off.

Papyrus shrugged and took off his jacket, dropping it on the desk before he walked over to the paper. You turned the page and let him lay down, tracing him as best you could as well. You set the pencil down and chuckled when he didn't move from his spot.

"Lazybones, I'm done tracing you ya know."

He cracked one of his sockets open.

"im comfy."

You sighed and picked him up, setting him on your shoulder. He gasped softly and quickly latched his little arms around your neck. Or what he could. He slid down a bit further, tucking his little legs into the cuff of your onesie. He snuggled down into it, and before you knew it, he was settled between your tits, snuggly.

"Ok you little horndog, don't get used to this."

"youre really warm here."

"Yes I know."

"im gonna sit here all the time either way."

You scoffed.

"Nuh uh you little devil."

He chuckled before one of his little hands gave a firm squeeze to your left breast. You shrieked and quickly grabbed the back of his tank top, pulling him from out of your onesie.

"At least ask! You're probably not even an adult are you?"

"im 23."

You would have laughed, but it seemed plausible.

"my bros 25."

"That little bloodsucker is older?"

"yep."

He put emphasis on the "p" which only made you confused. He didn't have lips. You chuckled and set him down, to which he marched up to you and flopped onto your chest. You grumbled and grabbed the back of his tank top again, pushing him aside.

"awww c'mon. you cant deny me, im too cute and you know it."

_Don't admit defeat, don't do it._

You sighed and looked at him again. He was scratching his chest idly, which piqued your interest.

"what is it?"

"Your ribcage. When you do that it sounds like your running your fingers over grooves of hollow wood."

He chuckled and promptly lifted his shirt, exposing his ribcage and his spine. The tips of his pelvis stuck out from his sweatpants. As weird as it was, he had a nice figure.

...Or lack of figure. Who cares. His bones were like normal human bones and instead, his ribs were all connected together, tapering off to be smaller at the bottom. His spine was a bit thicker and like you noticed before, discolored to be a darkish beige-yellow. His ribs were off-white, closer to beige but still lighter than his spine.

"like what you see babe?"

He wiggled his hips, making you guffaw and burst out in laughter.

"Oh you little devil, you'll be just as much trouble as your brother."

"course i wont. hes high maintenance. im not."

"Sure you aren't."

He snickered but it was quickly cut off when you reached out and gently brushed your fingers against his ribs. He arched his spine forward, using your hand as leverage to not fall to the desk. His cheeks were dusted the same color as his pupils. Skeletons blush? Weird.

"h-hey hey. dont do that. not u-unless you wanna get fucked."

The bluntness of his words hit you like a brick in the face.

"I won't even question you. Just. Watch your words."

"watch your hands, and dont touch my spine."

You squint at him, using your pointer finger, you gently run it along his spine. He squirms and grabs your hand tighter, his foot tapping on the desk.

"i-i said dont do that!"

"You can lift my couch with one hand, if you wanted me not to, you would have pushed away."

He stared at you before looking away.

"oh shut up. but since youre so eager, keep going."

"Is this sexual for you?"

"yes very, now keep going, i haven't gotten off in so long."

He grumbled, the end of his sentence slurring as he slouched against your hand. This felt weird, watching the tiny little skeleton melt as you ran your thumb up his spine again. His jaw hung open, revealing a bright purple tongue, running across his bottom row of teeth. You watched him go slack under your little treatment.

...you were doing this solely for science.

Yeah, whatever you say.

You stopped, much to his dismay. He let out a loud whine, grabbing your hand rather roughly.

"o-oh dont stop now, come on."

He growled, rather loudly, opening his jaw again, he nipped your thumb, not ad hard ad his brother to draw blood, but he still gently gnawed on it.

"Don't wanna have to go out too late to get the fabrics for your clothes."

A low rumble resounded in his chest before he shoved his shirt back down, folding his arms over his chest.

"Oh no don't get an attitude. You can get yourself off later. Now."

You stood from your desk.

"Would you guys be offended if I got you some sort of bed? Definitely not dog beds, but the base for a bed and some blankets for you."

"i mean i dont mind. anything soft."

"Alright, beds it is. Any food preferences you guys have?"

"bro likes burritos, bbq sauce for me."

You grabbed your jacket and put it on over your onesie, grabbing your slippers as well and putting them on.

"well, you look comfy."

"Damn right I am, its Saturday."

You walked back to him and offered your hand, watching as he grabbed his jacket and flopped into your palm, face down.

"Dawww, you're such a sleepy boy."

"naps are my favorite sport."

"Not a sport."

"exactly."

You snickered and quickly located Sans who was currently...building a pillow fort on the floor next to the couch.

"Sans. Sans were leaving to go to the store."

He darted out of the fort and jumped up excitedly.

"HUMAN PICK ME UP!"

"Ask nicely."

"I WILL NOT BEG FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE YOU PETTY WENCH."

You scowled and grabbed him by his bandana, stuffing him into your hoodie pocket.

"No hand privileges."

He screeched in your pocket, yelling before he quieted down. You grabbed your purse and keys, giggling when Papyrus went and used your hoodie as a bed. He settled and immediately fell asleep. You stepped out into the semi-cool afternoon air. It was just leaking over into midfall thankfully. You marched up to your little scooter, looking at the large crate attachment. Sans poked his head out from your pocket.

"WHAT IS THAT DUMB BOX? IS THAT A PUZZLE?"

"Nope. I put stuff in it cause I don't have a trunk or anything. It's not a car so it doesn't come with that."

"POINTLESS! JUST BUY A CAR!"

"Hey! I like my little scooter thank you."

He scoffed and ducked back into your pocket. You hopped onto your scooter and put the keys in, cranking the handle before you sped off to the store. Sans had taken up residence in the front of your sweater, climbing up there when you stopped at a red light. He clung to you but watched as the city whizzed by.

When you pulled into the lot of the store, you got up, struck a pose. To which Sans did the same.

"Oh you two are just precious ya know that?"

"DO NOT BELITTLE MY PRESENCE WITH SUCH SOFT WORDS HUMAN!"

"Hey, you didn't call me a wench! That's so nice."

"HUMAN WENCH!"

You sighed.

"One step forward, two steps back."

You waltzed up to the door, letting the automatic door slide away as you stepped into the threshold of the establishment. You sighed and passed through the aisles, looking at the array of craft supplies. You managed to snag a bunch of nice fabrics in an array of different colors. You even grabbed some furs and buttons. Beads, mini zippers, everything you could think of. When you passed through the accessories aisle, you just had to grab the mini sword you saw. Along with a doll-sized bike you spotted at the top shelf. Papyrus would like it.

When you got to the next aisle, you got your supplies to make them both beds. A few planks of wood, lots of cotton and stuffing, a few large cuts of very very soft pillowy fabric that Papyrus wouldn't let go of for the life of him. When you got the register, you had to pry Papyrus out of the basket of materials for the cashier. The blond girl ringing up all your stuff eyed you with what you could only see as disgust.

"Little gross pets ya got there."

She snickered under her breath. You smiled at her, batting your eyelashes as she finished bagging your things. She finished up and you paid, but before you let, you plucked Sans from your pocket, leaning in and whispering what the girl said to him. You set him on your hand and let him loose.

"YOU DISGUSTING HARLOT! YOU WILL NOT BELITTLE ME WITH YOUR SLICK WORDS WHEN YOU LOOK AS THOUGH YOU GROVEL AND BEG FOR A LIVING."

He stomped his foot with a "MWEH HEH"  and sat in your palm. You whistled and smiled as Papyrus slouched on your shoulder.

"good one m'lord."

You quickly left before she got a say in, the three of you giggling all the while. Maybe these boys won't be so bad.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------

You sighed as you lugged all your materials into the house, dumping it all on the couch. Sans and Papyrus had fallen asleep on the way back, to which you shuffled to your room, grabbing a pillow and setting it on the coffee table, you put them on it. They instinctively clung to each other, which made you squeal happily.

You eyed them before heaving a sigh. Where had they been before? They obviously don't seem too upset being here but... Are they trusting of you? You decided to give it time. Instead, you got to work on making them their beds. Time to pull an allnighter!

By the time you finished each of their beds, your hands were covered in paint, sore and shaky. Well worth it. You had made their very tiny mattresses as soft as you could, along with small pillows. The beds were probably double each their individual sizes. Sans' bed base was painted black, decorated with white and purple sheets. Papyrus bed base was painted gold, adorned with violet and white sheets. You sighed and slouched on the coffee table, smiling at your work. You hadn't checked your phone at all today. You snagged it from the table and checked your messages, seeing that Jae had been spamming you all day.

Ah yes, your best friend Jae. Easy going, energetic, nose piercing adorned Jae. She had been wanting to take in strays just like you, so to satiate her spamming for the day, you snapped a photo of the two little devils and sent it her way.

**The Chosen One: Look who I got**

Her reply was almost instant.

**JaeBear: OH MY GOD NO FUCKING WAY??? LOOK AT THEM!!! THEYRE SO CUTE OH MY GOD! CAN I COME OVER AND SEE THEM? ARE THEY FRIENDLY ARE THEY NICE????**

**The Chosen One: for the most part! The little one is a literal vampire and the taller one is a little pervert.**

**JaeBear: great things come in small packages**

**The Chosen One: guess your corpse in your coffin is one of those because that joke is gonna get you killed**

**JaeBear: wow!! Overkill**

**The Chosen One: yeah yeah whatever hurry and get your ass over here.**

**JaeBear: see you in 30 bitch**

You set your phone down with a huff, slouching against the table. Today was a good day.


	3. Vampire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Silent screeching into the heavens because Im working on like 8 different fanfics. Might post one of my personal projects.

Sans had stirred in his sleep and broke off from his brother, searching for you since you were no longer sitting at the table anymore. He huffed and marched around the apartment groggily, rubbing his sockets. He spotted you sitting at your desk, working on something with the sewing machine and quickly barreled up to you, climbing your leg. You shrieked and looked down at him, seeing his rather flushed face and half-lidded sockets, you scooped him up and set him on your desk.

"I finished your beds, by the way. Did ya wanna sleep in it now? It's getting a little late."

He flopped onto your hand, snuggling up to it.

"I Am Not Tired Feeble Human.."

He mumbled, nuzzling his face against the palm of your free hand. You had to hold back the urge to hold him, or else he might go yelling at you again. You had finished 2 outfits for each of them already, 2 sets of pajamas for them both. You gently sat him up, much to his dismay. He grumbled and crossed his arms, staring at you as if you had kicked him. You picked up the set of pajamas you made for him, a silk long sleeve top with matching black silk pants. The kicker was the set of small mock bat wings you had sewn into the back of the shirt and the fact that the collar could be adjusted to point up like a vampire's cloak. He quickly grabbed the pajamas and smiled like a madman, giggling.

"WELL HUMAN! YOU HAVE PROVEN YOURSELF WORTHY!"

You held up the other set, which was blood red and had a black cape with large wings sewn into the sleeves. He snickered and opted for the black pair for tonight. He quickly took off his armor, then his shirt...then went to slip off his pants. You stopped him. His little ribcage was much different from Papyrus'. His bones were thicker and wider for sure, which explained why he looked a little chubby. The crests of his pelvis were thicker and wider as well. He crossed his arms.

"WHAT IS IT HUMAN!? ADMIRING MY FIGURE? WHAT A PERV!"

"No! Just don't change in front of me silly!"

He flushed that same shade of purple, grabbing his pajamas and hiding behind the sewing machine. Effective but still odd. He stepped back out holding his clothes, a grin stretched so far it looked like it hurt. He spun in the new pajamas and chuckled, setting his other clothes down on the desk.

"I LOOK RATHER DASHING DON'T I HUMAN?"

You smiled and gently pet his cheek.

"You do ya little bloodsucker! Now go get your brother, I have his pj's too."

He grabbed your hand and smirked, chomping down on the palm of your hand, and somehow, purring while he did. He lapped up the blood that trickled from the 2 large fang marks he left, snickering when you grabbed him and set him on the carpet with a huff.

"God he really is a handful.."

You paused.

"Pun intended.."

You snickered to yourself, cupping a hand to your mouth with a dumb smirk on your face. Sans came back a few moments later with his brother in tow, lazily shuffling along the carpet. He raised his arms for you to help him up, lowering your hand, he flopped into it and snuggled you. Sans followed, taking your other hand and gently nipping where he had before.

Your cheeky grin confused Papyrus, but he soon found out why you were smiling when you pulled out his first set of pajamas. It was like your full body onesie, except it was black and had little bones sewn into the fabric. He chuckled wildly at it, taking it from your hands and holding the soft fabric close to his chest. The other pajamas were like Sans' but made from the fluffy fabric of his onesie. He started to strip like his brother to which you pointed to the sewing machine. He got the hint and changed behind there, stepping out with a sway in his hips. He posed dramatically, throwing his arm over his forehead and tilting back with a soft "aah~".

"oh yeah- im feelin this."

He posed again, his brother having groaned at the joke.

"tell me, is this too inappropriate? my pelvis is showing."

He pointed to the embroidered pelvis and broke down howling with laughter, clutching his sides. Just then, your front door had been knocked on frantically. You shot up from the desk and set both the boys on your arm, Papyrus slouching happily while Sans had been growling about not being able to nip your hand anymore. You opened the door to a very frantic Jae, hopping on her feet.

Then she spotted them.

_The floodgates of Hell hath opened._

"OH MY GOD LOOK AT THEM!"

Sans immediately summoned a bone and aimed it at her, which you oh so delicately took from his tiny hands.

"STUPID HUMAN GIVE IT BACK!"

"Watch your tone Dracula, now get in here Jae and stop yelling!"

She rushed in and sat on the couch patiently, bouncing on the cushions like the Energizer Bunny. You sat across from her and set both the boys on the coffee table, watching as Papyrus stood up and waved while Sans hid behind him.

"yo."

Jae looked like she was about to explode from containing her fangirling.

"C-Can I pick you up?"

Sans scoffed and barreled back over to you, clutching onto your hand while Papyrus scuttled and flopped into Jae's hands. She inhaled and held him close to her chest, cradling him like he was glass. He chuckled and took that opportunity to pat her chest, a cheeky smile on his face. Jae pulled him away and snorted her nose ring jingling.

"Oh you were right he is a little pervert."

"i mean i can be."

Jae snickered and gently pet his skull, watching as he leaned into it, his body slumping against the palm of her hand. Jae looked back to you, her eyes watering.

"I know its cute but hold it together."

She sniffled and set him on her chest again, not minding the fact that he groped her chest again to hold onto her. She opened her hand for Sans, who only nuzzled further into your hand. He growled when you pushed him to her, throwing a bone at you that you caught, to his surprise. Sans reluctantly slipped onto Jae's hand and did the one thing you hoped he wouldn't.

He bit her thumb. And _hard._

But, much like you, Jae was used to getting bitten. You both worked with animals anyway. She chuckled and pet his skull, yelling when he pulled away from her thumb.

"YOUR BLOOD IS TOO SWEET! WHAT DO YOU EVEN EAT??"

He sputtered and thrashed around in her hand, giving you a knowing look.

"Candy is my fuel sorry little guy."

He pouted, flopping into her hand while she pet his back. You smiled and watched her fawn over them, giggling all the while.

"Where'd you find em?"

"More like they found me." You spoke, yawning into your hand.

"Huh?? How?" Jae looked down at Sans who was dozing off.

"They were already in here! Which means that they broke in or found a way in. I don't really mind though. They're safe, that's all that matters."

She nodded in response, jolting up when her phone rang. She grumbled, setting Sans on your leg and Papyrus on your shoulder. She grabbed her phone and answered it, speaking in hushed tones before turning to you.

"I gotta go dumby, I'll swing by on Tuesday though!" She marched out and wished you a good night. You smiled and locked the door behind her, yawning again. You grabbed both their beds and brought them to your room, setting them on your dresser, which was right at the foot of your bed. They both climbed in, falling asleep almost instantly. You flopped into your own bed as well, turning into a burrito in record time, blankets coiled around your tired form.  
  -------------------------------------------------------------------

When you woke up, you immediately had to watch where you put your hands. Both of your little houseguests had gotten into bed with you and latched onto your form. Papyrus was clutching onto your hip, while Sans was snuggled into the crook of your neck. You slowly peeled them both off of you, giggling all the while you set them onto your bed. You stretched and relished in the sheer pleasure that rippled through you as your back popped. Both boys shot up at the sound, huffing and looking around frantically. It never occurred to you that sound might scare them. Sans spoke first.

"W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING? D-DID YOU JUST BREAK SOMEONE'S BONES?"

You chuckled and pat his little cheek.

"No just stretched. It just sounds like that."

You snickered at Papyrus' horrified expression. It still amazed you how bones were so malleable. You strut out of the room, snagging your towel and a spare set of clothes on your way out. You smiled and dashed to the bathroom, leaning over the tub and turning on the water. You sighed deeply, staring into the water. The bubble bath you had run was almost done, now all you had to do was undress. You quickly stripped yourself, slipping into the comforting water and slouching at the sensation. A few minutes of soaking and you hear little pitter patter footsteps coming down the hall. You raised a brow, eyes still closed as you relax. The footsteps stopped, so you chalked it up to one of the boys wandering. A weight settles on your chest. You open your eyes.

Papyrus is stripped out of his onesie, laying across your collarbone, arms splayed to cover as much surface area as they can. He's looking up at you with the widest grin he can muster.

"hey sugar. ya know you should wear less clothes, these tits look good."

As you ran all the ways to scold him through your mind, you had gotten distracted by directing your gaze to his pelvis. Huh. You quickly snapped away and grabbed one of his arms, as delicately as you could. You raised him and dropped him in the water, raising your knees to your chest to cover up. He made a soft splashing noise, a soft yelp coming from him. He thrashed about in the water for a few seconds, which got you to pick him up, grumbling all the while.

"why the fuck would you do that!?"

He yelled, which still startled you. He was so tiny. You set him on the edge of the tub, watching as he shivered and flopped down to sit. He folded his arms under his ribcage, leaning away from you.

"i have no fucking mass on me i cant swim you fucking ass!"

He growled at you, making you flinch.

"Well maybe if you didn't come in unannounced and thinking you can do whatever you want, I wouldn't have done that."

He stood and raised his arms, still shaking.

"put me back."

"Papyrus no. Leave."

"please?" He said in a sickly sweet voice, blinking his sockets in an attempt to bat the eyelashes he didn't have. You sighed and grabbed his arm again, letting him rest on your collarbone again. He sighed and rested there, his wandering little hands groping at your chest every now and then. You set him aside while you washed down, taking note of how he watched very intently. You sighed and grabbed him as you got out, wrapping yourself in your towel. He sat on your shoulder, completely unphased by being naked.

When you got to your room, you checked the time, noting it was only 9:50 AM. Curse your early morning awakening.

You set Papyrus on your bed, grabbing a black tank top and a pair of black shorts for your lazy Sunday. Sans came storming in on you getting dressed, about to yell at you.

Until he spotted you naked, pulling up your knee highs up. He sputtered and made a break for the door, yelling all the while. You looked to Papyrus who just shrugged. Oh well. If he saw he saw.

Papyrus threw on his second set of pajamas and followed you to the kitchen, yawning and looking through the cupboards for something. You decided on Poptarts for yourself and making toast and bacon for the boys. You all sat on the couch, chowing down on breakfast. Sans had fussed about wanting the remote so you let him pick out something to watch. Watching horror movies so early in the day was an odd choice but, you were amused nonetheless.

By the afternoon, you had brought your sewing machine into the living room with you, working on more clothes for the boys. Sans had stopped watching Tv to instead, watch you work on his clothes. You ended up with 4 outfits for him. A simple dark purple long sleeve button up with a set of black jeans. Another button up but all black with grey jeans. Then a flashy outfit because he demanded it. Another cape in this one, but a wine red tuxedo, with accessories of course, and lastly, a short sleeve shirt with a pair of brown shorts.

Papyrus had similar stuff. 2 long sleeves, one gold and one white with ironed on mini prints. 2 pairs of sweatpants, grey and black. His "flashy" outfit was a purple hoodie with a galaxy print and a set of decorative sweatpants with stars on them. His lazy outfit was a blue short sleeve and black shorts. They both, surprisingly, thanked you and smiled.

The rest of the day went fairly quick, lounging with them both was peaceful enough. At 8:00 clock, you got up to start dinner, Papyrus and Sans both agreeing on burgers, so you slid into the kitchen to get started. Papyrus sat in on your cooking and watched lazily, obviously eyeing the way you worked around everything.

"(y/n) ya know those shorts are really huggin that perfect ass of yours right?"

You choked up and shot him a glare, tossing it a slice of lettuce at him. He caught the rather small leaf and munched on it, chuckling all the while.

"You are vulgar. Don't expect to take baths with me all the time, that was a one-time thing. I felt bad for almost drowning you so take that as an apology."

He snickered and hopped along the counter to meet you, shambling up your arm to snuggle into the crook of your neck. You sighed and finished up the burgers, being careful to not make them too big. You served them their food and relaxed with them, happily munching away at your food.

"HUMAN. NEXT TIME I DEMAND YOU LET ME HELP WITH DINNER!"

You raised a brow at him.

"No offense Sans but.. You're kinda..?"

He scoffed and stood abruptly, slamming his foot down on the table with a huff. He pointed to you angrily, a cheeky grin on his face. A few tense seconds go by. When you open your mouth to speak, you choke up, inhaling sharply at the sudden pressure in your chest.

"I SEE YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE SPEAKING HUMAN!"

He chuckled and flicked his finger up, and to your horror and surprise, you left the couch, suspended in the air. A purple sheen covered your limbs and body, which got you "oohing" like a little kid in a candy store. He set you down and crossed his arms triumphantly.

"W-Wow. Ok, I take it back m'lord, that was impressive."

You used air quotes at the nickname, but that got him blushing like a madman. You leaned on the table, batting your eyelashes at him playfully.

"What's wrong m'lord~? You seem flustered!"

You said in a sickly sweet voice, watching as he marched up to you and grabbed your cheeks. He leaned in close enough and hissed through clenched teeth.

"If You Keep Up With Your Petty Teasing Human... I Can't Ensure I'll Be Able To Help Myself..~"

Now it was your turn to flush. For someone so small he sure had a way with words. You pulled away and coughed into your hand, leaning against the sofa with a soft "thump". The smug grin on his face only made you more flustered, putting a hand over your chest.

Papyrus chuckled at the display and to worsen your already feigning confidence, he crawled up your arm and nestled on your shoulder. He cooed in your ear, a deep rumble in his tiny ribcage.

"m'lord may have a point...you keep up your teasing and we might have to do something about it.."

Yeah. These boys would be the death of you.

**Author's Note:**

> How's that for part one?


End file.
